How Aunt Sue got some New Grey Hair

What fun it has been following my nephew, Drew and his new wife, Helena, as they navigate the Southwest Florida tropical paradise.   While I have not worried about them per se--they are after all--a very flexible and resourceful Power Duo, at times I wondered if they truly appreciated how out of step they were with the uptight Eastern environment they had  immersed themselves in.

Beginning with the park I am in--Limetree- -an 0ver-55 community.  From my experience so far, it's more like an Over 75 community.  Even I--Sue--have been surprised at how people on vacation can be so darn negative and curmudgeonly about every aspect of behavior.  It is guarded by an energetic entry gate that remains in the up position for 5 seconds so as to ensure that a second rogue vehicle has no chance to scurry through.  Arrows are painted on every road surface telling you which way you can drive, in addition to one-way road signs planted at every intersecting road.  Papers are taped on every interior door and wall at the locked-down Community Center with some kind of reminder of acceptable conforming behavior.  People here are extremely fearful about their world running amok with...Rulebreakers.

Enter Drew & Helena from California...

OK so maybe having a 20 year old van with no license tag driven by a young man resembling Osama and a crazy lady wearing pants "down low" exposing tattoos might be considered provocative anywhere, but in this community, they just went bonkers!

Soon after their arrival, the Community Association Manager approached me and suggested that he had been deluged with complaints by the residents.

I was violating an archaic rule which said that a 2nd RV could not occupy the same lot as another RV.  Despite the fact that they were not occupying the lot but only parked on the roadside with all the other vehicles,  I believe ya gotta pick your fights and this one was likely a loser.

So, the van (an RV???) was relocated and next morning Drew & Helena attended the community Pancake Breakfast to reassure the residents while I went to LA Fitness gym to release stress.

They took a swim in their Community Pool at which many Rules were posted but there were none prohibiting tats.

Drew and Helena found a nearby remote parking area  adjacent to Robb & Stuckey (aka Rob 'Em and Stick 'em).   Robb & Stuckey is an overpriced, biege & gold furniture showroom patronized by people living in gated communities.

Suddenly,  at 2:30am, the sleeping couple was awakened by lights, pounding and shouting by a team of Bonita peacekeepers.  Terrified, their RV was searched as they sat dazed in the front.  Of  course, nothing but used McDonald's Cafe cups was found...

In the aftermath of the rude rousting, Drew & Helena were found to be innocent of having set off R & S's internal store alarm.  It was theorized that the Night Manager set off the alarm to summon the police because of the strange vehicle parked on the property.

The peacekeepers, themselves about the same age as the Perps and somewhat fascinated by their trip, directed Drew & Helena to a parking lot where nobody would be upset by their presence and commented if anybody called on them, at least they all knew each other.

Despite the nighttime problems, we had great times during the day after the weather warmed up.  We visited the Bonita Art Festival and I took Cassie there in her stroller.

Drew posed at the "ManTrap" sculpture--a contraption fashioned like a mousetrap but instead of cheese, the traptreat was beer.

Drew & Helena also spent time in the Disney area, stopping along 192 to pick the mermaid's nose ...

...to record a sad country song

 

... and renew their 4 month old marriage vows at a WalMart (which

are non-existent in Eureka, CA)

The happy couple was then stalked by the Blacktop Lobster.

The hapless travellers will spend another afternoon in my friend Kim's driveway, doing construction repair and modification on Bella, the Van/RV.  This is to prevent assault to the delicate sensibilities of folks who are afraid of power tools which we are certain there must be a Rule for.

After that, they are taking off for a week long canoe trip through the Everglades.  I told them I would meet them at the shower rooms with the key on their return trip.

New Digs for the Homeless AKA...

...I'm livin' in a van down by the river!!!  But fortunately, I have lots of company these days.

Knowing I would be "between homes" after closing, I leased an RV site in the Over-55 community of Limetree Park in Bonita Springs.  OK no old fart jokes about being over 55...

I began to pull onto my site and noted a large sewer pipe in my path to the utilities hookup area that gave me pause.  Hmm...unusual placement of a sewer pipe--above ground and blocking the path to the utility post.  Not wanting to herald my new tenancy with the dubious distinction of rupturing a sewer pipe, I stopped up short and sought assistance from the nearest geezer.  He helped me maneuver up far enough to "just miss" the sewer pipe and still reach the utility post.

So here I am...parked with my portable foam squares, my super zero gravity lounge chair, wine table, bike and little red wagon full of laundry.

The day of my closing was also the arrival day of my nephew, Drew and his new bride, Helena (from California) to visit South Florida!  Holy excitement!  After a long nap following two long and difficult travel days, they took off in my car in search of the own van so they, too, could brag that "they were living in a van down by the river".  Here is Drew extricating himself from the confines of the overhead cab and holding a Christmas candy-coated pretzel that he found tangled in the bedding.  Helena is a bed snacker.

Here are pics of Drew and Helena having coffee and scouring the internet for people who are selling old conversion vans.  Their budget was...quite modest.

Their quest was not an easy one.  The search took them to Orlando where they found the van of their dreams.  They found it endearingly ugly but automotively intact and named it after their pug, Bella.

The next day, Drew, Helena and I tore into the interior of the van, ripping out all the crappy carpeting and anything else that could be dislodged from the walls.  It was sorta disgusting.

Then, the kids went and bought bug bomb to rid the van of creepy crawleys.  I am told that the squeamish one of this duo is Drew and Helena certainly looks comfortable and proud of her bounty.

The day of departure was just before the cold snap when temps would be going down to 20/30's at night.  To the relief of the neighbors, the dynamic duo packed up the pig and headed for Kissimmee/St Cloud where my sister had arranged a timeshare for them to ride out the cold snap in comfort.

Sue pulled a bottle of merlot out of her case of Toasted Head, specially ordered for her wholesale by Phil, who works for Southern Wine & Spirits.  (Sharon--only 5 bucks a bottle!!)  My neighbor Ron from Ohio took the pic and seemed intrigued by the whole blog thing.

I am happy as can be; I rejoined LA Fitness and my mornings are spent in the gym trying to retrofit my previous stamina, agility and flexibility to an over-55 body.  I usually stop afterwards at the nearby Publix and get something I don't have to use heat to prepare and rent a $1 Blockbuster movie from the kiosk.  I have been on several gal-buddy outings and of course, cautiously meeting people as I ride my bike around the community.  A short nap in the afternoon...a little wine around 5ish and then hit the primetime TV or movie.  I have free Wifi and Cable TV here.  If it weren't a tad too cozy in my RV, I might never leave!

New Year and Cape Coral Home

Last year was pretty much miserable so I am really looking forward to some new starts in 2010.

I knew the minute I returned home from my trip that I needed to make a change in address.  I placed a "fishing" advertisement on Craigslist.com after researching the sad real estate market of Cape Coral.  My goal was to test the market price of my home.  Luckily, I must have hit it right!  I received several inquiries, two of which saw the home and I received an offer within about 10 days.

During the next 5 weeks, I placed ads for furniture and other large items on craigslist, had two garage sales and spent many hours a day replacing long-neglected things in the house like pool and water filters, smoke monitor batteries and removing wiring, patching wall holes and of course, deep cleaning everything.  This was a  massive job of putting the house as much as possible into "like new" condition.   Did I mention packing stuff for storage?   I put not only my back into the job-but my heart-as this was the home that Frank built and loved and I wanted to respect him in this way.

A few days before closing, "Water" things began to happen.  I had given my buyers permission to come in and paint and re-carpet and the Buyer's dad asked me about the leak in the water heater.   Duh--what leak?  Sure enough, there was a rusty water trails dripping down the side!  I knew it was not very old so I found the manual and the receipt and called Home Depot, who said to bring it back and they would replace it with a new one.  The Buyer was OK with that and Dad agreed to do the legwork.

Next, I was walking Cassie one morning and heard running water.  Alarmed, I saw water gushing into the storm basin.  I followed the stream and saw that the sprinkler head piping had completely separated and water was flowing freely forming a large pool in my side yard.   My handyman Steve came right over and fixed it better than new.

Then, my Buyer's Mom pulled the fridge out to paint and water started leaking.  There was no obvious leaking point and it stopped so I breathed a sigh of relief figuring the drain pan slopped a little with the movement.

The day before closing I was cleaning around the master toilet and dislodged a rusted-out bolt that stabilized the tank to the bowl and, of course, water started to leak.  My neighbor phoned his plumber who came out to fix it at 8am on the morning of my closing.

The night before closing I could not sleep so I got up to get a drink from the refrigerator and walked into a pool of cold water.  And--it would not stop.  I had nothing to sop up with as everything was packed.   It was 1:30am.  I got online and googled "refrigerator leak" and saw a video that explained what to do.  I FIXED IT!  Found the leak--just a loose fitting--and fixed it!

The morning of closing, I need to blow dry my hair and the bathroom electrical outlet would not work!  Checked the circuit panel and it was OK.  Started hitting GFI reset buttons and the last one sparked madly when I reset it.  I had no other choice but to head to the closing with wet hair and the news that the GFI was bad and I would buy them a new one.

At this point, I began to wonder if Frank was somehow involved in the house shenanigans from somewhere in the Great Beyond.  He was always "teaching" me things about how stuff works and perhaps he was testing me now.   Or, maybe he was just unhappy that I was leaving.  I told him (yes, I talk to him) I was doing the best that I could and just because I was leaving our home and Cape Coral, it didn't mean that I would forget about him and our life together.

I closed on the home on December 30th to a lovely couple (Adam and Amy) who have a cute 2 year old girl and are extremely pregnant with #2 !  They are a terrific family and Mom, Dad and friends were all involved in the interior changes they were making.  I rather enjoyed having all the company around as the house seemed to come to life after a long period of "holding its breath".   And, I was so glad to see the energy and care they were expending making my house THEIR home!   I could not have asked for a happier ending to my time in Frank's home.   Selling the house was not just a financial transaction, it was another link in my emotional journey toward writing the next chapter in my life.

My greatest sorrow is leaving the wonderful friends I have in the neighborhood (long ago dubbed Lunacy Lane).  But, I am mobile, have many open driveway invitations and plan to be visiting often.