Alaska Cruise-#5 That's Entertainment!

Here are some entertainment events of note:  a singing act called Fire & Ice.   Not a well-chosen name for a Cruise Ship act.   It was immediately obvious who the "fire" was; a Whitney Houston look- and sound-alike with a dramatic flair, a bad case of hyperhydrosis (haha go look it up!)  and a voice that was almost worthy of Whitney.  She did an amazing tribute concert to Whitney to a packed house and was truly "on fire".  

The second memorable entertainment was "Dancing with the Jewell Stars".  This was a hilarious, rowdy and adult-only production where audience participants were matched with ship's pro dancers.  The panel of judges included the Paula-like ship hypnotist  ("We're looking for a connection; use your bodies to have fun!"), the Simon-like ship magician ("You'll never see these people again so let it rip!") and the Dawg-like staff singer ("Yo Contestant #3; we know you're wearing white underwear").  The participants were uninhibited, hilarious and bawdy.  It was very well produced with projection screens for post vote-off interviews with the eliminated couple.  We laughed so hard it hurt! 

The "main" event was Duo Eligia, an acrobatic adagio duo, who were choreographed into a dark, cirque-esque act about a sinister circus.  I have no idea what the plot was about, but the act was notable in that these two performers--a married couple--oozed sensuality yet were hardbody strong and performed unusual tricks of strength and beauty.

The lounges were packed nightly with a singer who could mimic anyone from Michael Jackson to Elvis to James Taylor and provided a very mellow environment for sipping nighty-night cocktails.  He was Philipino (as was most of the crew) and all he had to do was change his hat and his accent vanished.

An under-appreciated entertainment element greeted us every time we entered a Dining Room.  Here is a too-cute pic of The Washy-Washy, Happy-Happy Girl.  She greets you coming into and dining room and plants herself in your path.   You are then expected to hold out a hand which she will squirt with her squirt bottle while sing-songing "Washy-Washy!" 

And what is "Deal or No Deal" all about?  This game consumed the stage for an evening and was heavily pre-promoted and required a significant $$$ buy-in to play.  Along with the Bingo fiasco, there appears to be a trend that cruises are setting up expensive gambling venues for customers.

I am happy to report that the Nickelodeon characters did not invade adult spaces after Weds.  I would like to think this was due to "passenger feedback" but probably more likely due to lack of profits at the bar.  Or perhaps SpongePants was tossed overboard?

The White Hot Party was hosted by the bartenders and the singer/dancers and everyone dresses all in white to look hot under the blacklights.  Here is a group that sat nearby us.

The bartenders had special equipment for serving tequila.

We ordered shots--a couple rounds, I think...

After that, I do recall us dancing out on the floor  under hot lights with many young people.   They did many of the "new" (new to me) dances that were taught in the tutorials workshops during the week. 

When Mare and I returned to our cabin, we were soaked and had to take midnight showers.

All in all, I was surprised and pleased about the quality of the ship entertainment; it was definately "above average" compared to other ships I have been on.

Our sole shipboard "foodie extra" was the Jazz Brunch, featuring a live Jazz band.  It was a tasteful and cozy dining room and featured choices like chateaubriand and asparagus soup.  Ummmm

I think we found where all the best ingredients were being diverted to;  the food was quite flavorful and more like what we expected.

Note to self:  consider the dining room upgrade package on the next cruise.

It was a very enjoyable treat for all the senses and we left very happy and satisfied!

We scheduled our own shore excursion at our final port, Victoria BC--High Tea at the Empress Hotel.  

The weather was superb for browsing the many Sweet Shoppes lining the street tempting passersby with the smells of fudge and other tempting confections.

We strolled over to our appointment at the Empress Hotel for our High Tea and were pleasantly accosted by an over-animated Tea Hostess, who, though happy and accommodating, should cut down the caffeine.

The setting was lovely and we began our Tea with celebratory champagne, toasting to the end of our wonderful cruise together and good friends to share it with!

We had our tea served in fine china and real whipped cream on our perfect berries. 

Our frenetic hostess did get some nice photos of our group enjoying our champagne...

...and our tea sandwiches and baked goods.

After tea, we decided to take a horse buggy ride to tour the city and that is when we met "Bob".


We were told that "Bob" was a new horse to the team having been rescued from the glue factory due to his age.  He was a seasoned show horse but just getting long in the tooth.

Here is Mare, one of 5 well-fed adults attempting to squeeze herself in a carriage built for 4 adults...ouch!



Though the tour was to have "historical narrative", our driver was quite preoccupied with Bob's orientation.  He stopped in the road and had to be encouraged several times to keep walking. 

He also does not like the noise and bustle of the pickup/leaveoff place so we were encouraged to jump off the carriage quickly!  We wish the best for Bob in his retirement career.

As we began to gather our wits and things together to return to the ship, Mare realized she could not find her all-day bus pass.  It wasn't cheap, so she plopped on the Empress Hotel lawn to empty her bag and search.

Not finding it, we devised a plan to get her on the bus without a ticket.  We would bunch together as a group and all wave our tickets while one person asked the bus driver a question as we boarded.  It worked.


It was our final night on the cruise, so after dinner we retired to our private bar for some cocktails and a last Texas Hold 'Em card game. 

We were shocked to learn that, because we were still in port, the ship had shut down the smaller bars and we could not be served until the boat took off around 8pm!  Our barserver, Arturo, went to another open bar for our drinks and walked half the ship for to deliver our round!  The bartender then called the BOSS up and asked if an exception could be made for us and he said YES!  All is well.

We presented our favorite barserver, Arturo, with his own pound bag of Taffy.  This was to be his last cruise; he said he couldn't tolerate the live aboard lifestyle any longer.

The Alaska cruise was SUPER FUN for everyone and Thanks and Props to Theresa who came up with the original idea and acted as our coordinator!  I wonder what our next adventure will be?

Alaska Cruise Part 4- A Passport Picadillo

It's mid-cruise by now--we have found our pace and our stomachs have quieted down from the initial shock of walking on a moving target and ever-changing horizons.

Our biggest decision is no longer  "which cocktail bar shall we play Texas Hold 'Em in? " ...

...but "where shall we have dinner tonight"?  There are 3 dining rooms to choose from, as well as many themed specialty restaurants $$$.

That night's entertainment demonstrated why I love cruise shows:  it was a hodgepodge of performances staged by the crew!  The crew performers were mostly men singers and a group of singing/dancing cooks.  One of the men was so good it brought tears to my eyes that his special light was hidden in the cold food locker of the cruise ship kitchen.  Doesn't seem right.

Here is a representative of the bartenders; this guy found an ingenious way to fill large cocktail orders--from a huge banana decanter with multiple drain holes positioned perfectly over martini glasses.  It was fun and endearing to watch amateurs do something they loved-- no matter how wacky.

The next day we parked in Skagway.  We all have shore excursions; a train ride, bike trip and horseback trail ride.  The day is gloriously sunny and warm and we were told by excited tour operators that days like this are very rare in Skagway!

Even the port seal was feeling frisky as he  entertained cruisers by flipping an unlucky salmon up out the water and then chasing it down, only to grab it in his mouth and flip it up again, like a toy!  The seal would then pause and look at us, as if to make sure he had an audience and then continue the salmon flip game.  Must have been terrifying for the fish but great fun to watch the playful seal perform!

Soo-Eeee was responsible for some drama because she was unable to locate her Passport.  I checked with the Tour Operator to see if there was any wiggle room where the passport issue was concerned but Noooooo...they would wait a few minutes for me to tear my cabin apart but I had to have it to take part in the bike ride which began in Canada.  I raced back on ship and tore the cabin apart--no passport!  The Tour Operator refunded the bike half of the activity and I was able to go on the train ride since it was round trip with no disembarkation in Canada.  I was disappointed but glad to be able to go on the train, even if it was all my myself!

I would later recall that I put my ID and credit cards in my yellow slicker rain gear in Ketchikan and thought it remained in one of  the pockets...

The Train trip was spectacular!   This is the Klondike Highway which replaced the train route.  It is the road that the bikes would be coasting back down from the summit in Canada.

I have always loved train mystique and the rumble and vibration of train travel.  Not to mention the thrill of being perched on tiny elevated tracks!

I remained outdoors on the platform between cars for a great view, smell of pine and electric feel of the air.

I was also the train photographer since many folks wanted group photos with the beautiful mountains in the background. 

Here is a glacier-- see the blue at the base of the white snowpile?

While I was having a wonderful time on the train, my friends, (Sharon, Mary and Marilyn) coasted on their male bikes down the Klondike Highway.

"Marilyn--I feel your pain"--why on earth do they use only MEN'S bikes for these tours?!   Why must ladies risk injury "down there" to pole vault onto these things?  Is is too much to ask to stock both styles of bikes??

Here is the hearty group.  It was reported that the bike ride was quite athletic with some uphill inclines and the speed down the mountain was very challenging.

After all tours were complete, we explored the town.  Here is a view that looks like the ship is parked at the end of the street.

A suitable bar was located--the Red Onion Saloon.  Photos & History

The link is pretty entertaining.

The Red Onion is an infamous brothel where the bar servers (madams) wore tight bustiers hoisting their lady parts up to their noses.  The pictures on the wall are all ...racy.

Here is another Skagway street scene.

Our time at Skagway was awesome.

PS.  The next day, I reached into my tiny shoulder bag--the fourth compartment--and there was my passport.  It was a new bag purchased just for the cruise and I had forgotten there were FOUR compartments... I had it with me the entire time.

Alaska Cruise Part 3 "The Invasion"

One of the things I most enjoy on cruises is the entertainment, even when it is a bit amateurish or hokey.  But, noone could have been prepared for the night invasion of "Nickelodeon".

The Welcome Aboard Entertainment was hosted by the Cruise Director who prompted the audience to call out where they were from Ad Nauseum and then...finally...we thought there were no unnamed places left in the planet and would finally be treated to some entertainment.  Noooooo......here come the Nickelodeon characters!  I recognized SpongePants but there was some other pink, star-shaped tubbie there too.

I decry this invasion of adult space!   I flounced up off my seat and left to go to the Bar, thinking that they wouldn't dare let Nickelodeon characters in the bar!

Wrong again, Sooo-Eeeee.  After the Bingo game--an activity for ADULTS only involving gambling and drinks in the Bar, the next entertainment group began to set up and ----HORRORS--it is SpongePants and his pink starfish sidekick again!

And, they added another character named Dora.  Now it is time for stiff letter of protest!  Not only did our little group summarily depart the bar with drinks in hand, half the bar got up and left!  Take THAT on your bottom line, NCL!  Maybe you can make your money off apple juice in sippy cups!

End of Rant.

Next stop:  Juneau.  It looked like this:

Yes, that's right--complete white out!  You could hardly see the faintest outline of the port.  Here is the irony; it was THIS day that was chosen to clean the windows!

Take a look at the squeegee he is using!  We thought we might take up a collection for a "Big Boy Squeegee".

Pity the poor souls who purchased expensive shore excursions.  We saw them return to the ship cold, wet, grumpy and shivering.  It was the only port where none of us bought an excursion.

That night was Chocolate Night.   It was festive and fun, of course, but I have already reviewed the food.  Some of the chocolate desserts suffered the same lack of character as other dishes but the displays were lovely and appetizing.

The chocolate eagle looked good enough to relocate back to the room.

My personal favorite was huge, sweet, ripe strawberries dipped in a chocolate shell.

Here is Marilyn  and her favorite was ....everything!  Yes, we did a bit of a photo setup here--Mare is a good sport!

Next up is the Star of the Cruise--The inside passage to see the glaciers.

Here is a map of Tracy's Arm a fjord near Juneau.   I got this from Google.

We passed many iceberg's which I am told are chunks from Sawyer's Glacier.

It was beautiful even though the weather was cloudy and drizzly.  There were many Ahhh and Oooh's despite the crummy weather.

Most people stayed inside the bar area and watched the passage though the narrow channel from the comfort of their bar seat and a cocktail.

I left my drink occasionally to go outside for a photo.

Here is the glacier:  note the blue ice.  Without the light the sun would have provided, our photos were less than spectacular.

The experience of BEING among the massive steep walls, passing another cruise ship in the narrow passage and seeing icebergs sweep past was exciting.

Alaska Cruise Part 2

OK so what does one do on a cruise ship on an "At Sea" Day?

Here is the reality.  One of our group was kinda seasick and down for the count most of the day.  A second member was "a little queasy" but not completely down.

The remaining three checked out the ship activities.  One of the many activities we took part in were the Trivia Games--ie naming TV programs from a musical sound clip, naming famous landmarks and birds etc.  People were divided into teams and the winners got complimentary bar drinks. 

One of the more sinister games was "The Weakest Link".   All of us entered our names; two of us were picked out of a hat--me and Mare!  Oh Noooo...That was the birth of my new name--Soo-EEE.  The ship staff spoke OK English but when my name was called, it sounded like she was calling pigs to slop and everyone foreverafter called me "Soo-EEE".  The audience cried "Soo-EEE" as I took my place at the podium.

Here comes the first question.... and  I have no idea what this woman just said.  She is Philipino and has a marked accent.   I heard "ScoobyDo".  I was not permitted to watch cartoons as a child, but I thought ScoobyDo was a dog and answered "Bone".  WRONG!  Second round question:  I understood No part of the question.  I don't have an ear for accents.  In fact, I sometimes don't hear English so good.  Needless to say, I was the first one voted out as the Weakest Link.  Goodbye, Soo-EEE.

Well, at least our other member, Mare, was able to understand and answer questions--she actually WON the game!  Yay Mare, you saved our group reputation!

I must note here that at NO time did any of us not have drink in hand.

We also played Bingo.  You cannot progress past  age 50 without playing serious Bingo.  However, this was the biggest RipOff ever!  We each paid $35-50 for about 20 total minutes of play.  Granted, the pot was huge!  But, the important part of Bingo is the journey--the destination can only be reached by a very select few.

This was the day we learned about the existence of what was to become our Private Bar.  While trying to gather up poker chips from TwinkleToes/Mario, we learned of a remote bar behind a specialty restaurant.  We came to regard it as our own special bar with our own beloved bar server-Arturo-and played many games of Texas Hold 'Em and drank many drinks at that bar.  There is something edgy about 5 females playing Texas Hold 'Em and drinking, don't you agree?

Let's retire the At Sea day and go on to our first port stop, Ketchikan!  All seasick persons have recovered.  The weather is lovely in Ketchikan, though it would deterioate later in the day.  Here is an early morning look at folks gathering for their shore excursions.

Our group had chosen two excursions:  the Alaskan Coastal Expedition (in the Zodiaks) and the Plane/Alaskan Crab Feast.

By the way, if anyone is planning to take an Alaska cruise, choose your excursions way ahead of time.  They book fast.

Theresa, Mary and Sue went on the Coastal Excursion at 8am and dressed for Cold, Wet conditions!

Mary drew the short straw and was enlisted to drive the Zodiak.   Mary is not thrilled.

We were supposed to see wildlife BUT the only things we encountered were eagles...

and the wild salmon dip we were served after the excusion. 

Here is a cool photo of the ship from our Zodiac as the day turned cooler and more threatening.

So, what are the girls to do?

Answer:   Find a bar in Ketchikan, that's what.  Our shuttle driver, a college kid majoring in Nutrition, suggested the Arctic Bear and that's where we ended up!

In this photo, we are with our bartender holding the Bar mascots--polar bears in mating positions.  There is probably not much else  fun to do in Alaska if you are a polar bear.

While we were whooping it up in the bar and making polar bear jokes, Sharon and Mare were flying to a Crab Feast.

From all accounts, the crab was fresh, plentiful and delicious!

We left Ketchikan tired but pleased with our shore experiences.